Talking to Older Clients
About Sexuality

Despite common assumptions, both women and men can and do enjoy healthy, happy and very satisfying sexual lives as they get older.

Bodies do change over time and the way people experience sex changes, as well. Beginning in one’s 40s, decreases in the amount of hormones produced have noticeable effects on the functioning of the vagina in women and erectile functioning in men. It may also alter how often people have sex, or their feelings of desire, but the benefits of sexuality can be physical, emotional, and even spiritual.

Good sex can bolster the immune system, reduce anxiety and stress, help with insomnia, and increase the heart rate and circulation. The feelings of wanting to touch and be touched and the closeness that sex can bring can provide emotional satisfaction and a joy that makes life more sensual and pleasurable. And for many, sexuality is a part of a a special connection with the person or people central to their lives.

As health care providers, it’s important to continue to talk to older clients about sex and sexuality. Here are some things you can do to make sure you address sexuality with your older clients.

Give your clients permission to talk about their sex life.

Tell your clients that you are willing to talk about sex, and can help them with problems or concerns. The first step is to help start the conversation. Conduct a sexual history. Ask your clients how satisfied they are with their sex life, including any changes they may be experiencing. Make sure to listen to your client.

Some concerns may be physical, others may be about their relationships. And still others may be related to sexual abuse, current or from the past. Have referrals available for clients that need help.

Provide your clients with information.

Clients need basic information to help them improve their sex lives. Sometimes, they just need validation that changes they experience are normal. You can help them feel comfortable with changes in their body that are not necessarily good or bad, but which are, nonetheless, different. Have pamphlets or a list of references that can help your clients understand these changes.

Depending on your training, give your clients specific suggestions.

Learn more about ways that people experience sexuality as they age so that you can be a resource for your clients. Some sexual problems or concerns can be addressed easily in a clinic session. Have referrals available for clients that need help which you cannot provide.

Know when to refer for therapy.

Advanced training and time are required to provide therapy for some clients who need intensive help. Do your best to find sex therapists and counselors in your area that may be willing to see clients for free or on a sliding scale.

You can find professionals in your area at the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists, at www.aasect.org. Call AASECT at (804) 752-0026 for an expanded list of referrals in your area.

Want to Learn More?

• If you would like more training on sexuality and older adults, contact the CFHC training department at training@cfhc.org.
• You may also want to check out the new curriculum entitled Older, Wiser, Sexually Smarter from Planned Parenthood of Greater Northern New Jersey.