Fostering Parent-Child Communication: Your Role as a Healthcare Provider

A large body of evidence is building that identifies parent-child connectedness as a key determinant or "protective factor" that influences adolescent risk-taking behavior. In the effort to better understand and define parent-child connectedness, researchers have identified components that foster this emotional bond. One of the most important is effective communication between parent and child. Although at first glance it may not appear to be an obvious fit, but you can play a role in fostering parent-child communication. This is especially true as it relates to teens making healthy decisions.

When it comes to serving teens, you are challenged to not only address the immediate medical concern, but also deal with parents. You can also help teens with underlying issues that brought them to the clinic in the first place. While visits and interactions with parents and teens may be brief, you are in a position to offer parents and teens strategies for building more effective lines of communication. Bringing this into a client visit may seem difficult, but this small addition can reap great rewards.

Promoting Positive Communication Between Parents and Teens

What can you do, in the very few moments in time you have that might make a significant difference in the relationships between parent and teens? One seemingly simple technique for promoting communication is to create Family Agreements. As professionals we attend many meetings and trainings where a standard set of verbal and non-verbal communication "rules" are in play.

These can be unstated or specifically stated, as in a training where the facilitator begins with a set of Community Agreements that the group will follow, such as each participant has a right to pass, agrees not to call others names or place judgment. Helping families to agree upon a standard and written set of communication agreements can create an environment that is safe, honest, and fair for all parties to participate.

Think of the "agreements" you live by both professionally and personally, which may include:

• Mutual respect
• Maintain confidentiality
• No putdowns
• Right to pass
• Attentive listening (and limiting distractions such as cell phones, radios, etc.)

Can you imagine how family conversations and even family dynamics might change if parents and teens agreed to a set of rules and posted this list in a visible spot before they began conversations about difficult issues?

Family Agreements Enhance Honest Dialogue

Family agreements modeled after those listed above might look like:

• We agree to talk to each other with respect.
• We agree to take turns talking and listening.
• We agree not to tell others things shared in confidence.
• We agree to no putdowns or name calling, even when angry or frustrated.
• There will be no television, computers, and phones while we talk with each other.
• We agree to take a "cool down" break if one or both of us gets too upset to listen or talk calmly.
• We agree to appreciate each other.

As a trusted third-party, you can provide parents and teens with a list of your "Community Agreements" and share how helpful they are to you. Encourage families to develop their own agreements. You can provide them with a fill-in-form that families can use to develop their agreements.

Talk with your teens and parents about how agreements like these could support healthy communication. What are some of the other agreements a parent might want to add to the list, particularly when discussing relationships and sex? One example you could provide is that there is no penalty for telling the truth. What are some agreements teens might want to add?

With Family Agreements that promote honest dialogue and active listening, teens might not feel the need to stomp out of the room because now they feel heard or valued. A parent's frustration level may drop because their teen is not playing video games during a conversation about sex.

Although simple, this communication technique can have a positive impact on the communication between parent and child.

Want to learn more about fostering parent-child communication?

If you are interested in additional information for your practice, please view our training webpage or contact CFHC at (800) 428-5438.